"I can do it with a broken heart”Is this healthy or unhealthy? It depends…

Most people, even if they aren’t a fan, are familiar with Taylor Swift.  Over the last year or so, she has been the center of attention due to her Eras tour, movie, and dating a professional football player. This attention was timed with a new album release, which has some music with pretty heavy emotional themes.  One of them is the above titled song (click below, if you aren't familiar. be aware that there is some course language.)​

This song lyrically portrays her inner experience of heartbreak while performing every night during the tour.  For various reasons, I find this song emotionally impactful. However, for this post I want to focus on the concept behind the lyrics to discuss if this seems emotionally healthy or not.
  If you aren’t familiar with the song, Swift sings about the outward appearance of having it all and seeming happy, while feeling depressed because of a recent break up. So, the therapeutic question that comes up is- is this healthy? Clients who have worked with me will not be surprised to hear me answer with "It depends."  Two of my goto topics in therapy are the unhealthy nature of all or none thinking, as well as the power of perspective shift. We will come back to these topics.
  On the surface, this song is very upbeat and may seem positive.  And there is a positive/ healthy aspect to the idea behind the lyrics. Most of us have had an experience where we weren’t in a great mood, and then we engaged in some activity, and felt better afterward.  In fact, when working with clients who are experiencing depression, the first stage of change is looking for small changes in behavior that the client can commit to even when they don’t feel like it.  The behavior will positively impact the person’s mood, making them more likely to take on the additional work and changes needed to improve their mood. (click here for an article from psychology today with more tips.)  For this reason ,we could say that the idea behind the song can be healthy.  Additionally, in an article on HuffPost, many mental health professionals talked about the positive benefits of distraction when dealing with something emotionally difficult (1.) Getting out of our own heads for a period of time not only gives us the break from thinking about it, but it gives us an opportunity to build our emotional energy.

Conversely, how would these lyrics represent something unhealthy?  If a person is consistently and universally presenting themselves as being emotionally well, they are likely to feel very isolated and may not be taking the time to appropriately process their feelings; which will actually lead to more significant emotional difficulties . One mental health professional writes about how this idea is akin to “masking,” which is a common technique used by trauma survivors (2).  Although the behavior may serve some protective functions, “chronic masking can lead to emotional burnout, isolation, and delayed healing.” (2, Pria Alpern, PhD)

Let's return to my two goto topics with clients in therapy- considering this idea as either healthy or unhealthy is an example of all or none thinking, where the answer “it depends” embraces that this is not a simple matter of good or bad. The answer “it depends” also incorporates another very important idea I focus on in therapy, which is perspective. As mentioned in the HuffPost article- many may derive a positive sense of self worth or confidence to be able to do something productive when they are having a difficult time. How one thinks about the idea of “fake it till you make it’ has an impact on whether this is a healthy coping technique for that person.  If a person believes they have to put on a facade, the action may leave them feeling powerless and more negative.  If a person believes that this action will help them to heal, they are likely to experience this as a healthy action to take.
  What are your thoughts on the concept of "doing it with a broken heart?" Would this help you get through a tough time, or lead to negative feelings for you?
 If this post has peaked your interest, I encourage you to read the cited articles, as they make additional great points about the concept behind this song.
References-
1.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/taylor-swift-i-can-do-it-with-a-broken-heart_l_6621a189e4b01006be1614da
2.
https://www.centerpsychologygroup.com/2024/09/10/icandoitwithabrokenheart/
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